Undercover Honeymoon
by EveKnight75
Summary: Martin and Diana are sent undercover as a newlywed couple in order to investigate at a honeymoon hotel. MD STEPCEST. ON HIATUS. Explanation in author's notes at beginning.
1. Disclaimer, Author's Notes, and Prologue

Consider this the disclaimer and author's notes rolled into one. It shall apply to the rest of the story. Any additional author's notes and disclaimers that need to be added will be added to this page through updates. Feel free to skip this page if you simply want to read the story. Any replies that I have to specific recent anonymous reviews will be listed before the prologue. Please don't post the same review twice. If you do, I'll keep the newest one and delete the other.

Genres:Romance / Angst / Sexual Tension / Supernatural

Plot: Martin and Diana are given an assignment at a honeymoon hotel during Christmas. They must investigate undercover as a newlywed couple. Can they manage to complete this assignment without being affected themselves?

I do not own the concept of Martin Mystery. The premise was created by Alfredo Castelli, who had written Martin and Diana into his comics as an engaged couple. Marathon had received permission to create a show based roughly on the comic book series. They get paid for their work, but I don't. Their show has Martin and Diana's characters cast as teen step-siblings.

The story premise is my idea. Aside from the characters that appear on the show, and Diana's mother, who is an unseen character but still exists according to the show, the rest of the characters in this story were created by me. The hotel was created in my head. The special mist/fog was a plot device that I came up with on my own. The entire plot line and the entire story was written by me. Therefore, it is my intellectual property according to the Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works. I've researched that treaty thoroughly and I know what I'm talking about. The Internet has already started its mention in this convention.

Some of the readers may claim that this story does not contain incest because Martin and Diana are step-siblings. They may not be blood-related, but their relationship would be considered incestuous under family and marriage laws in Québec, which is where the show takes place. Personally, I wouldn't consider their relationship incestuous, but opinions on that vary greatly. The only answer that we can depend on is the one that the law provides. The law itself also varies from one area to the next regarding sexual relationships between step-siblings, but Québecois and Washington law are the only ones I'll regard in this fic.

Chapter 3 is up now. It was a rough start but once I got past that, the rest of the chapter wasn't impossible. I still feel there's something wrong there; something I could have done better. I call it Writer's Syndrome. If there is something wrong, give me some concrit and point it out. In fact, give concrit either way. I appreciate that. Just remember to take note of the fact that this is where the M rating starts to come into play. There's mild nudity involved (Martin and Diana in their underwear), as well as vague references to sexual tension on Martin's part. Those who are legally old enough to be reading this will know what this means.

This fic has been put on hiatus at the moment. For further information, please visit my LJ. The links are in my profile. Chapter 4 will build on the sexual tension theme, but I also have to venture into unfamiliar territory for part of the chapter. Said territory will come into play again throughout the fic. Fortunately, I have been receiving helpful information from adult forums and have also procured a male beta reader to look over those aspects.

Please take note that I'll be posting the next chapter on AFF first. This is because of the adult content. I will write the censored version after the uncensored one. However, I also have another beta reader who will compare versions. She's an excellent reviewer on both sites and a member of this site. I know she'll do an excellent job. Don't take this the wrong way - I love this site. However, at one point, my fics got taken down because of a rating issue. I just don't want to make that same mistake again. Posting on AFF and censoring here are the best precautions I can think of.

If you are at least 18 years of age, then you are allowed to visit AFF. The links to each AFF fic and individual chapters can be found on LJ. IF you read the fic on both sites, please feel free to leave reviews comparing the two versions. We'd appreciate that.

I suppose that's all that needs to be said. If you have read this, good for you. You shall be able to avoid certain questions in your reviews that I shall not answer because they have already been explained on this page. The information this page gives you also will allow you to enjoy the story more thoroughly. Now start reading the story. You've earned it.

* * *

PREVIEW: The scene starts off at the window of a hotel room. The camera enters the room through the window and moves to the left, tracing over the scattered components of a white dress, white tuxedo, silky white lingerie, and silk boxers. The trail of clothes lead to a bed where an attractive young couple are glowing in the aftermath of love-making. At the moment, they are exchanging soft kisses while intertwining their fingers. The glint of their wedding bands is the only light in the room other than the moonlight from the window. 

While the couple are enjoying themselves, a light white mist wafts towards them from the foot of the bed. The mist is nearly invisible, and the couple breathe in the delicate scent of nectar, which mingles beautifully with the musk in the room. Suddenly they are invigorated, and start copulating with an animal fervor. The camera moves to the door, where we see the light mist seeping under the crack of the door, and return to the window, where we then watch the rapid progression to sunset.

At this point we hear a knock on the door, and swing the camera around to see a maid opening the door. She starts complaining angrily to the still, silent, sweaty couple because she never had a chance to clean the room. When the couple doesn't respond, she hesitates, then goes up to the naked couple with the intention to nudge the woman on the shoulder. It is after this action that the maid starts to worry. She noticed that the sweat was actually colorless crystalline droplets and that their faces were frozen in expressions of climax. She starts to scream and runs out of the room.


	2. Awkward Assignment

TORRINGTON:

Martin and Diana were both excited about returning home for Christmas. The last class before the holidays had ended an hour ago and both teens were almost done packing. Martin was scrounging around for a pair of clean socks when a call came in from the Center.

"Damn it, not now! Anytime but now!"

"I heard that, agent Mystery! Now get down here this instant. A separate portal has already been opened for Diana, and you needn't concern yourself about Java or Billy."

"Yes MOM." Martin gulped and hoped that he wasn't in any trouble.

Martin and Diana arrived at the Center at the same time, and while going through the scanning process and making their way to MOM's office for their debriefing, Diana gave him the bad news. "I just hung up on Dad before my U-watch beeped. Apparently he and Mom decided to go on a second honeymoon and won't be seeing us this Christmas. We're still free to come home and spend Christmas with each other." Diana was mimicking her stepfather on that last part with extreme sarcasm.

"I know that sucks. I mean, we attend boarding school. We rarely get to spend time as a family as it is! At least we won't have to make up an excuse for missing Christmas."

"I suppose," Diana sighed. "But that still doesn't make me feel any better."

They finally arrived at MOM's desk. "I'm sorry to bother you agents, but there have been a lot of cases popping up lately and all of our full-time agents are indisposed. The two of you are amongst my best part-time agents and I feel confident that you have what it takes to handle the particular assignment I'm about to give you. There have been a series of unusual cases at the Moonlight Honeymoon Hotel near Seattle, Washington. The reports state that there are couples who started having marathon... intercourse and were found later in a state of suspended animation, with clear crystalline droplets all over their skin and expressions of... pleasure on their faces. One couple managed to escape because they had a certain fetish, and the third person in the room noticed a white mist and managed to warn them. Your assignment is to go undercover as a newlywed couple and investigate."

"I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say that we - as in my stepsister and I - are supposed to go undercover as a newlywed couple. Could you repeat that so I can get it correct this time?"

"You heard correctly the first time, Mystery. I know it's unusual, perhaps illegal on some level, but I couldn't find any other qualified agents available. You two are the only ones that I've got."

"Uh, MOM, do you mind if Martin and I discuss this before deciding? I mean, it is kind of unusual."

"I understand. Just step through the upcoming portal and it will lead you to a private room. Another portal will open in 15 minutes, when you shall have to inform me of your final decision." The portal opened up at that moment, leading to a room with a coffee table and two chairs facing each other. Martin and Diana stepped through it and the portal closed behind them. The moment it fully disappeared, Diana blurted "Let's take it."

"What! Are you out of your mind?"

"Of course not! You heard MOM, we're the only option she has right now. Besides, it's not like we have any important plans for the holidays. Might as well take a working vacation."

"First of all, the term 'working vacation' makes absolutely no sense, but I'm gonna ignore that 'cause I like my job. Second of all, we're gonna have to pretend we're MARRIED. How the hell are we gonna pull that off?"

"It's not like we have to make out with each other or anything. Just wear wedding bands, dance with each other, stuff like that. Nothing impossible."

"Says you."

Now Diana was starting to lose her temper at Martin's mulishness. "Wait, I forgot one thing. You wouldn't be able to pull it off because you'd be too busy flirting with all the other women. And that would arouse suspicion, seeing as how you've just gotten married."

"Are you trying to imply that I can't control myself?"

"Maybe I am. In fact, let's make that a bet. If we take this mission, you have to concentrate on only me, and not pay any amorous attention to the other women." Diana smiled, knowing exactly what his reaction would be.

"You're on!" That's when the 15 minutes ended, and Martin didn't realize what he had done until after the portal had closed behind them.

* * *

"We've discussed this and have decided to take the mission. We're going to need some props to pull it off, though. Wedding bands would be a good start. We'll also need more discreet U-watches. The ones we have now will draw attention."

"Excellent." Mom handed each of them a white-gold wedding band with diamonds studded all around the band. "These wedding bands will replace your U-watches on this mission. Each stone doubles as an activation button. We've also managed to put together a wardrobe for each of you in the event that you would agree to this mission. There's an extraterrestrial make-up artist and hairdresser standing by for each of you. Undercover agents must always appear as their role dictates. After you are done changing, you will be led to one of the Center's limos, which will be transported to the front of the hotel's gates, and drop you off at the front door. Your reservations have been booked under the name Renault. Your first names have not been changed. Only the hotel manager is aware of the arrangement and will greet you at the front. He'll inform you of any further complications. That is all."

Martin and Diana turned towards the portal and were about to step through it when MOM yelled out, "Oh, and one more thing: don't let anyone know that you're step-siblings."

"Don't worry. It's not like we were planning to anyway. Can we go now?"

"Yes, agent Mystery. And the only reason I'm tolerating your attitude is because I realize that you're in an extremely awkward position."

After 100 make-over minutes, Diana and Martin finally managed to enter the limo. The two looked at each other and did a double-take. Martin's hair was no longer spiked; it formed a series of longish layered bangs in front of his face and looked extremely soft without the gel. He was wearing a peach-colored cotton dress shirt which brought out the gold flecks in his eyes and a pair of black dress slacks. Diana's hair clips had been removed and the bottom ends of her hair were flipped outwards, adding a sense of style to her hair. She was wearing a pale pink summer dress which was slightly low-cut at the front and hinting at just a bit of cleavage. The cleavage was accentuated by the pink crystal locket around her neck.

Martin managed to stop staring at Diana's chest before she could call him on it. "You look really nice," he stuttered.

"Thanks. You look nice too," Diana whispered back. The rest of the ride was spent in silence.

Once they pulled up to the hotel, Martin got out first and extended his hand to Diana and helped her out of the limo. Oddly enough, Martin could be a gentleman at certain times. Diana was surprised, but pleased nonetheless, and took his hand. She didn't let go afterwards. "We're married, remember?"

When checking in, the clerk at the front gave them a hard time because she didn't believe that they were married - not legally, anyway. In actuality, both agents were just shy of turning 18 and neither of them could present valid or fake IDs. The snotty clerk told them to wait right there as she called over the owner, who wasn't too far away. "These two claim to be booked under the name Renault and refuse to show me any proof of age."

The owner looked up at the couple at the mention of Renault. He peered closely at them. "I'll deal with this. Would the two of you step into my office, please?" Once the three were out of sight, the owner asked them, "Are you the two agents they've sent in from the Center?" The two of them nodded, and pulled out their badges for inspection. The owner scrutinized the badges and frowned.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the receptionist had a valid reason for requesting proof of age. Are you sure you two can handle this job?"

Martin held his irritation in check. "My partner and I have been working for the Center for several years now, and we've handled hundreds of similar cases. We may be relatively young, but we're experienced and qualified. The head of our agency wouldn't have sent us here if she believed otherwise." How many times did he have to go through this at the beginning of a mission?

The owner sighed in response. "As long as you get the job done. At least the two of you make an attractive couple, and you could actually pass off as falling within the appropriate newlywed age range. Another couple have been affected recently. They're booked in room 213. Their reservations were booked under Mystery." He noticed the look that passed over their faces at this. "Is something wrong?"

Diana quickly made an attempt at covering themselves. "Oh, it's nothing. It's just that we usually don't get new instances within a case this rapidly. That, and the mystery of the Mysterys." Diana and Martin both forced out a nervous laugh. The owner just looked at them. "Er, we'll just go up to the room and investigate now."

The owner led them up, unlocked the door, and ushered them into the room. He closed the door behind him. "I have to stay in the room with you. I can't afford to let anyone see you leave the room by yourselves, and I'll have to lock up afterwards. Just let me know once you're done."

Martin and Diana approached the frozen couple, and each one moved towards their own biological parent. They examined their parent's facial features but looked away quickly. No one wants to see that specific expression of pleasure on their parents' faces - ever. They then went on to collect crystalline droplet from the arms and shoulders to send back to the lab for analysis.

They started moving away when the owner asked, "Aren't you going to examine their genitalia? This whole phenomenon is attached to sex, isn't it?"

Diana looked at Martin, then back at the owner. "You're right. However, if they're still joined together, it's going to be impossible. Would you mind turning around while we check?" The owner turned around while Martin and Diana quickly pulled the sheet down then back up.

"They're still joined together." And Martin wasn't lying either. "I guess we're done here. We'll just have to wait for the lab results to come back."

"Right, right. Well, dinner should start in half an hour. That's when we announce all the new couples at the hotel, including you."

"We still have to finish unpacking. We'll join you once we're done."

"I'll see you downstairs then. Don't be late!"

"I guess so. See you at dinner. Bye."

The two of them rushed off to their room and slammed the door behind them.

"That was sick. At least I didn't have to see my dad's penis."

"No, but I had to see my mother in all of her naked glory. That was the most awful task I've ever had to perform. Worse than slime, even."

"I'm not sure if I can eat after that. I'll probably throw it back up."

"Same here, but we've got to go down and keep up pretenses. We'll just avoid eating too much and come up early for obvious reasons."

"That'll work. I just hope we can look eager. After that investigation, the last thing I wanna do is -"

"I know. Try your best. We'll run back. Just remember that we're eager to be out of there, if nothing else."

Martin and Diana reached the dining room as dinner was about to be served. The owner rushed up to them immediately and adopted a saccharine tone. "Ah, the Renaults. It's so good to have you with us here. You're just in time for dinner. Please, sit, sit," and he ushered them into 2 chairs side-by-side. "So, tell us all about your lovely selves."

Diana pasted a smile on her face. "I'm Diana, and this is my husband Martin. We met each other 5 years ago, and have been together for 3 years. We decided on a Christmas wedding because there's just something so magical about it." Diana's statement held an element of truth in it, so it wasn't too hard to sound convincing.

"How did you stay together all those years before marrying?", one of the other young women asked, eying Martin with a glint in her eye.

Instead of flirting back, Martin put his arm around Diana and pulled her in. "We've had our ups and downs, and we've had our share of fights, but when it comes down to the basics, Diana and I truly care for and love one another. Besides, we were forced to wait until we were legally old enough." The last comment earned a few chuckles. Martin kept his arm around Diana to emphasize his statement, also with an element of truth in it, and looked straight back at the woman, who took the hint and stopped. Martin truly was not in the mood for flirting.

"Hey, how about a kiss?", one of the men yelled.

"Excuse me?" Diana asked him in shock.

"A kiss between the two of you. All of the newlyweds do it at their introduction. It's a tradition."

Diana and Martin became flabbergasted and started coming up with different excuses.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!" The entire table was chanting by now and looking at Martin and Diana.


	3. The Charade Begins

Martin and Diana looked at each other. "One little peck won't hurt," one mouthed to the other. They leaned in towards each other, closed their eyes, and touched lips. They didn't expect to feel what they did. Their lips were warm, soft, moist, and melded together perfectly. They each felt a warm tingle run down their spine and into their groins. It felt soft, yet exciting. Perfect.

The cheering finally registered in their brain, and they broke apart gently, with a hint of regret. Once their minds cleared up, they felt even less hungry. They were still heated up. Martin remembered the escape plan, grabbed Diana's hand, excused themselves, and ran out of the dining room and up the stairs, with everyone hooting and catcalling after them.

The moment Diana closed the door behind them, they let go of each other and stood there, sweaty, bent over and panting, facing each other. Martin's shirt was clinging to his sweaty skin, outlining his muscular chest and abs perfectly. He didn't notice Diana staring at his chest while he was staring down her dress. Neither of them noticed the white mist seeping in through the window. All they noticed was each other and the smell of nectar.

Slowly, Martin walked towards Diana, lifted her chin up and started kissing her. Their kisses were slow and sweet. They were taking the time to explore each others' mouths. Diana snaked her hands up his stomach, chest, and shoulders, around to his neck. The hand resting on Diana's chin crept around to the back of her neck, curling its fingers into her hair. Martin's other hand was on the small of Diana's back. Their kisses were becoming deeper, and their pelvises started to grind against each other, when a loud, insistent, beeping suddenly broke them apart. One of the stones on their rings was pulsating, and they pressed it. A holograph of one of the scientists from the Center appeared above their rings. "I have the results of the lab work. The crystals appear to be solidified human sweat. The odd thing was that there was no freezing involved. In fact, the crystals were formed by extreme body heat. I suggest you look through the Legendex to see if anything in the archives match. Have a nice honeymoon, lovebirds." The creature smirked and signed off.

Martin looked down at his shoes. "I guess we'd better shower. You can go first."

"OK." Diana walked over to the suitcases, and rummaged around for a bathrobe and pyjamas. Neither item could be found. The only sleepwear was silky lingerie. She had opened Martin's suitcases when looking for her own things, and realized that there was no bathrobe or pyjamas packed for him either. The Center had taken the honeymoon theme too far.

"Is something wrong?" The moment Diana looked his way, Martin averted his eyes quickly. His face was a bit reddish. Diana looked away, too. "It's nothing I can't deal with. You'll find out later." Diana picked up a filmy nightgown and walked into the bathroom. She took a long time in the shower, using up all of the hot water. He didn't mind - he needed a long, cold shower anyway.

Martin walked into the bedroom in a pair of silk boxers and a silk robe. Diana was lying under the covers on one side of the bed with her eyes closed, hoping to fool Martin. He walked up to her and gently nudged her. "Diana?"

She pretended to wake up. "What did you wake me for? Just climb in from the other side, and make sure the covers stay on." That's what Martin had planned to ask her anyway, so he simply walked around and climbed in. The two of them made sure to stay away from the center of the bed because they felt awkward around each other in their state of dress, especially considering what had happened just hours before.

They bade each other good night, and stayed quiet throughout the entire night. Each one of them took a long time to fall asleep, and neither one slept well that night.

* * *

Shrill ringing bells and bright white lights invaded groggy sensories to arouse irritated heads out of slumber. Long fingers grasped the telephone receiver on the bedstand to bring it up to the side of a head veiled by long auburn locks, while a slightly calloused hand shielded hazel eyes from the blinding glare emanating from the window.

A tired voice answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is a wake-up call for7 A.M. Just a reminder that breakfast will be served in one hour."

"You woke us up for _that_? Can't it wait?" Irritation was creeping into her voice now.

"I'm afraid not. There's a list of activities planned for all of the couples after breakfast. Didn't you read the activity sheet after you arrived? It's handed out at the check-out counter."

Diana was more awake now. "Activity sheet? What activity sheet? We didn't get any activity sheet last night!"

"Sure you didn't." Snickering at the other end of the line. "Then again, most couples who check in during the evening forget about the activity sheet."

Diana was fully awake now, and starting to growl at the phone in her hand, when another hand pried it from her. Martin had scooted up behind her while the lethargy had been dissipating from her voice. Now his head was to one side of her, holding the receiver to his ear, and the hand that wasn't holding the phone was resting on the mattress dangerously close behind her, to give him leverage.

"Hi, this is Mr. Renault. My wife and I didn't receive an activity sheet because the clerk had initially refused to check us in. As for having an activity schedule to begin with, the staff should really rethink starting off the events so early in the morning. My wife and I didn't get much sleep last night. In fact, I don't think anyone did, seeing as how we're all on our honeymoons."

"I suppose you're right, sir. As it is, the schedule has been set for today, so I suggest you come down for breakfast."

"We'll get dressed once we're off the phone."

"Splendid. I'll just check your names off."

"Excellent." Martin was mocking the voice on the other end now. "Oh, and another thing. Don't crack jokes with Diana right after she's woken up. You don't want to make her angry. Consider this a warning. Goodbye."

Martin hung up the phone, accidentally brushing his bare arm against Diana's back in the progress. Diana felt a dip in the mattress right behind her as Martin leaned back, only to swing his legs out onto the floor on the other side of her. He stood up, stretched his arms over his head, then trotted off to the bathroom in his boxers.

Diana stared after him until the door shut behind him, then a look of confusion crossed her face. _Were his hair and wardrobe the only things that had gotten a make-over, or did the Center reprogram his personality? _Diana could only wonder.

* * *

The 'Renaults' had finally managed to arrive downstairs in white sweaters and green slacks, with red-rimmed eyes to complete their matching holiday ensembles. A few of the concerned guests came up to them after breakfast, but they shrugged it off with the truth. "We didn't get much sleep last night." They let the words hang in the air, and allowed the guests to assume whatever they liked. Breakfast for Martin and Diana had been a huge stack or pancakes drizzled with maple syrup and downed with a tall glass of chocolate milk. If there was anything else on the table, neither of them noticed nor cared. They were both running on autopilot because their brains were too tired to process anything. It was a skill they had perfected in high school, as does any teenager.

They had ended up eating more than anyone else at the table, which only fueled the suggestions surrounding them. Not that they noticed. In fact, Martin and Diana had continued running on autopilot well into the afternoon, until one incident finally jolted their brains into awareness. The doorway above them was hung with mistletoe and one of the guests was kind enough to point it out to them very loudly.

Instead of chanting, the guests just expectantly gazed at them in silence. The two teens stared at each other hesitantly. Neither of them wanted a repeat performance of the previous night. Things between them were tense as they were. The gazes of the audience were starting to burn holes in them.

Nothing could get more tense than this. Martin and Diana just wanted everyone's eyes to concentrate somewhere else, so they both gave a little shrug, and leaned in towards each other.

Their first kiss had been physically pleasant in an unexpectingly electrifying way. This kiss was equally pleasant, but it was the complete opposite of the night before. Their lips were cool this time, and the sensation was calm. There was a warm tingle this time - but instead of rushing down their spines, it creeped up the back of their necks and into their skulls to ebb away the dull throbbing that had persisted since the morning.

It wasn't the kiss that Martin and Diana were aware of; it was the ultimate migraine relief that seemed to come with it. This kiss wasn't an aphrodisiac like the one from the night before. It didn't create heat. It created a pleasant warmth, one that a person could quickly learn to enjoy.

And enjoy it they did. They kept kissing under the mistletoe for a long time, and only broke apart once their headaches had disappeared entirely. The pleasant moment that comes after a gentle kiss was taken away from the two, because the first reaction they promptly encountered was a whistle, followed by, "Any longer than that and you two would have needed oxygen masks!". This was the 5th person who had made comments about them - if you included the whistle. Apparently there was a large number of rude guests at this hotel who simply didn't know how to mind their own business.

Martin and Diana chose to ignore those two for the time being. They had finally been relieved of their migraines, and they weren't going to let anything - or anyone - diminish that. They finally passed through the doorway and settled on one of the loveseats. They didn't care what other ridiculous things the guests would say, and they honestly didn't want to sit next to anyone else. They also preferred sitting in close proximity to each other for the time being.

After everyone had seated themselves in the room, the staff commenced the first main event of the day. The couples who had checked in since the last weekend would tell the rest of the room about how they met, when their relationships began, when they got engaged, and what their weddings were like in fuller detail. The couples would go in order of check-in time, and the most recent guests would go last.

* * *

The first couple to recount their tale were in their early forties. They had first met when they were 15 years old. Juliana's father had gotten engaged to Kristoff's mother and the two had met at a restaurant dinner in Chicago and shortly after the engagement was announced to both families. The engaged couple had already bought a house in the suburbs for the new combined family. Kristoff and Juliana didn't see each other again during the wedding arrangements. The actual wedding occurred 6 months later, thanks to an efficient wedding planner. The now-couple had hated each others' guts at first. It was impossible to adjust to their new lives. Neither of them were used to having a sibling and bickered constantly.

"It wasn't that we hated each other per-se. It's just that we needed someone to blame for our frustrations, and the other person was the perfect target."

After a year, neither of them expressed any true animosity towards each other. They argued very often, but it was often trivial. When it came down to it, the two got along in general, even though they weren't friends in any sense of the word. The true turning point was at an after-prom party held at their house. The parents had left on a 2-day business trip so they didn't know about the party. Both sets of friends were invited to the unchaperoned party. Some of Juliana's friends had managed to sneak in several kegs of beer, and a drunken party ensued. A group of the guests had shut the windows and attached quilts to the walls to soundproof the living room. The neighbors couldn't hear anything loud, so there were no reports.

"I don't remember much about our prom night. I don't remember the party that well. I barely remember what happened that night. All I remember is what happened in the morning. And in the afternoon, I truly wished that I could remember what I had done the night before."

Juliana and Kristoff had lost their virginity to each other that night. The stragglers were passed out downstairs. Juliana didn't get pregnant. No one ever found out. They kept up pretenses during the summer, left for separate universities in separate states, and didn't reunite until after graduation. Somewhere in the middle of it all, each one had developed a serious relationship, which eventually led to engagements, which led to a double-wedding that Kristoff and Juliana tried to avoid vehemently, but neither one could provide a valid argument without exposing their secret.

10 years after the double wedding, the entire family reunited in Chicago for a summer family reunion. In early July, Kristoff's mother and Juliana's father announced their divorce. They had simply grown apart and chose to dissolve the marriage before things got nasty. They had agreed to remain living together in the house as old friends. The reunion was to last until late August.

One friendly divorce led to two nasty divorces. Kristoff's wife and daughter simply had no bond with each other. They argued constantly, and Kristoff always stood up for his daughter. He didn't realize how serious it was until his daughter came to _him_ about her first period. Instead of going to her mother, she called Juliana. Eventually, Juliana became a maternal figure to her step-niece.

Juliana's own husband never had time for her or their sons. He was always out working or hanging out with his buddies. He never attended any of his children's competitive events nor did he take them on family outings. Kristoff always did that whenever he came to visit, and often talked to them on the phone. He did the best he could to make up for their father's neglect, and it showed in his relationship with them.

Both couples finally began to bring their problems out into the open. The children sided with a specific parent. Mentors were brought up, and said mentors became the new target of the arguments. The entire thing blew out into a one against five against one argument with the grandparents mediating.

By the end of the summer, both couples had signed the divorce papers. Kristoff and Juliana were awarded full custody of the children as well as the houses as a result. Kristoff and Juliana were no longer step-siblings, but continued to interact for the sake of the children. One and a half years later, Kristoff's mother and Juliana's father had died in a car crash during the winter, and left the house to their children.

The funeral after-party was held in the house, and the families chose to stay and mourn together during the winter holidays. The divorce, adjusting to life as a single parent, and the deaths had taken their tolls on Juliana and Kristoff. On the night of the funeral, after the kids had gone to bed, the two of them got drunk for the first time after the party so many years ago, and ended up sleeping together. On New Year's, they had comfort sex. They didn't want to think of happy, shiny new beginnings; not at that time.

Over the summer, the two families moved into the house. It was the children's idea - the three of them already had a sibling dynamic. They would be happy to move in together and all of them were from Chicago anyway. The parents were very unsure, but eventually agreed that it might be easier to raise the kids if they worked together. It wouldn't be a far stretch. They had lived as step-siblings at one point and they were like parents to their ex-step nephews/niece already. The house had four bedrooms. They could control their behavior.

They managed to control their behavior to an extent, but not their growing feelings. The five of them had finally somehow formed the perfect family that they had dreamed about for so many years. At first, everything was truly perfect despite what the rest of the neighborhood thought. It was when the neighbor's suspicions started to hold a grain of truth that things started becoming complicated.

Kristoff and Juliana were truly becoming attracted to each other, and they began to realize it. With that realization, the past came back to attack them full force. They were attracted to each other when they were teens and dealt with it by trying not to get too close. Then the party happened. They were together twice during the funeral, and the second time they were fully aware of what they were doing. This time, they couldn't run away from it. They would be living together for a long time, and by drifting apart, they would end up hurting the people they cared about the most.

They chose not to fight it this time. The neighborhood was talking about the two of them already. They wouldn't be responsible for any rumors. They started to get closer and the kids noticed, but they didn't really mind. For the first time in a long time, their parents were truly happy. Eventually, the boys asked for separate rooms and their request was granted. Juliana and Kristoff moved into the old master bedroom, and the boys moved into Kristoff's and Juliana's original bedrooms. The grandparent's old bed was dragged in from the attic, and on that bed the cycle came full circle. The bed on which they had lost their virginity on was the very same bed where they eventually made love for the first time.

"And when we say love, we mean just that. It was an expression of happiness and love, not merely sex."

Two years after they started sharing a bed, they got married at court with only their children present as witnesses. The neighborhood was in an uproar, but the marriage was legal, and the children were happy about it rather than hurt. They dealt with the other people at school as a team. In fact, it was their children who arranged the honeymoon.

"And that's our story. We know that it's surreal. It reads like a fairy tale or a documentary. In fact, we're still trying to process all of this. I'd say it was all fate's doing. It ended up too perfectly to be otherwise."

* * *

Kristoff's and Juliana's story was extremely interesting, but it took them over an hour to recount the condensed version of their tale. The rest of the couples shared their slightly shorter yet relatively boring stories. By the time it was Martin and Diana's turn, they had already fallen asleep. Diana's head was resting on Martin's shoulder and her legs were curled underneath her. Martin's arm was wrapped around Diana's waist, and his head was resting atop hers. The others in the room took a moment to appreciate the Hallmark perfection of the scene before the staff member in charge of the event sneaked up behind them and yelled "_Your turn!_", effectively waking them up. 


	4. Domestic

Warning: There is nudity in this chapter, as well as vague references to a sexual situation. You have been warned. Please refer to the disclaimer at the beginning for more information on this chapter.

AN: One of my biggest challenges was trying to make Martin as IC as possible while starting to develop his character a bit. I asked for help on the forum, but none came. I did my best. Let me know about that as well. Did I do a good job of developing Martin and Diana while keeping them in character?

* * *

Diana's head shot up, bumping Martin on the chin hard, which caused him to lift his head up abruptly and unwrap his arm from around her in order to rub his chin. Diana's head fell in the path between her waist and his chin, so he ended up hitting her on the back of the head in the process. Diana thought that he did it on purpose so she whacked him on the back of the head in return. 

"What did you do that for?"

"You whacked me upside the head first!"

"That was an accident! It's not my fault that your head was in the way. Besides, if you hadn't knocked me on the chin, I wouldn't have needed to move my arm."

"It's not like I hurt you on purpose! Your chin just happened to be in the way when I lifted my head. It's not like I had a choice. You, on the other hand, could have used your other arm."

Somebody cleared their throat. Martin and Diana looked up from their little spat for a moment, only to notice everyone staring at them in astonishment.

"What are you looking at?"

"Do you wake up like this _every_ morning?"

"Of course not!"

"Good, because it would be really hard to maintain a marriage if you did."

"Marriage? What marriage?"

"Your marriage. You two _are _married, right? I mean, that's why you're here, on your honeymoon. Unless there's something you're not telling us."

"Married?"

"Us?"

"To each other?"

More strange looks from around the room.

Martin and Diana finally remembered their situation.

"Oh! Yes. Of course. We're married. Right. That's us. Totally in love. Sorry about that little spat there. Arguing is one of our things, if you know what we mean."

The employee that had given them the rude awakening chose to interrupt before the couple's tirade could grow any more wearisome.

"So lovers' spats fan the flames. Nice to know, but could you please get on with your story? There are other events after this you know."

"Story?"

The employee looked about ready to explode when Kristoff wisely chose to enter the semblance of a conversation.

"How did you two meet?"

"At Pizza Hut."

The audience waited a few seconds, but no further information came. Juliana decided to coax them.

"What was the meeting itself like?"

"Boring."

Still no further information came.

"In detail. We want to hear about how you met, when your relationship began, when you got engaged, and what your wedding was like in detail." The employee stated this through clenched teeth in an effort not to scream.

"Well, why didn't you just say so?"

"I did. At the beginning. Before you fell asleep.". The employee nearly shrieked the last part.

Martin and Diana reeled back at his tone. "No need to be impatient.".

The employee took a deep breath to control himself. "Why don't _you_ try telling us what it was like, Diana?".

"All right. Well, we were thirteen years old at the time. My mother and Martin's father are... friends. They thought it would be a good idea if we met, seeing as how we were the same age."

"Yeah, basically the whole 'our kids can be playmates' bit. If you ask me, we were a little too old for it. If they were going to treat us like little kids, why not go all the way and take us to Chuck E. Cheese? At least _they _have an arcade."

"Come on, Martin. It's not like they _meant _to treat us like little kids. Besides, it's hard to carry on a conversation at Chuck E. Cheese."

"There wasn't much conversation. Neither of us talked much. And even then, all you talked about were books. Bo-ring."

"Well, at least I made an attempt at intellectual conversation. Forgive me for not reading comic books. And I'm not boring. You're irritating."

"Irritating! Just because I know how to have fun doesn't mean I'm irritating!"

"I know how to have fun! I also know how to use my brain at the same time!"

"How the hell did you two end up together? You don't even _like _each other!"

"That is so not true! I love Diana!"

"I love Martin! Besides, how do you know whether or not we like each other? Sure, we may be complete opposites and get on each other's nerves, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends."

"Which we are. We're together all the time. Sure, Diana can get preachy but I don't know what I'd do without her. She's smart and I like that. Hell, half the time I wish I were as smart as her."

"You do?"

"Of course I do, Di."

Martin found himself wrapped in warm slender arms. "That's one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me."

"I didn't say it to you." Martin then turned in his seat to face Diana so he could lean in and whisper, "But you know it's true. You're amazing, Di.".

"You're pretty amazing yourself, Martin Mystery. You always manage to stress me out and loosen me up all at the same time." The two were now whispering and brushing their foreheads against each other.

"All right then. Next point: when did the love aspect enter the love-hate relationship?"

Martin and Diana did not appear to hear the next question. They were too busy exchanging Eskimo kisses and calling each other pet names.

"Well, would you look at the time!". Martin and Diana looked up at this. "I'm afraid that we have to move on to the next event. Let's move along to the dance floor.".

Diana and Martin continued rubbing their noses together until the only people left in the room were Kristoff, Juliana, and the employee. The older couple shooed the employee out of the room, gave the younger couple a quick glance and a smile, then left.

Martin and Diana remained close for a few more minutes, glanced up towards the doorway, separated themselves, then quietly sneaked back up the stairs and into their room.

"I'm not sure how many more pet names I could have handled."

"It was the only plan I could come up with at the moment."

"And it was a good one. Nauseating but effective. Still, we'd better come up with a tale we can both agree on. Someone else is bound to ask us again later."

"Don't I know it. Man, these people are nosy and obnoxious."

"You'll get used to it. God knows I did."

"Very funny, Di. We should at least fire up the Legendex first."

"You've got a point. We need to know what phenomenon we're dealing with."

Martin found the Legendex key on his ring, but each time he pressed it the hologram kept flickering in and out of sight. Martin's face screwed up in confusion. Diana tried her ring but wielded the same results.

"The rings must be defective."

"I don't think that's it. They were functioning fine before. Hold on.". Diana grabbed Martin's left hand with her own, entwined their fingers, then used her right hand to fire up the Legendex on both rings. This time, the Legendex stayed in place. "We were standing next to each other and used both of our rings when we received the call from the Center. The rings are weak individually but have enough power to function properly when used together.".

"Right, got it. Let's see: look up sex, crystalline sweat, mist, and nectarine.". They waited a few minutes before finally receiving a result. "Spirit of Lust. At least, that's what the modern English translation would be. The first recorded incident was in ancient India. Couples in several neighboring villages were found frozen in a state of bliss on their marital beds with crystalline drops attached to their skin. The next such incident was in ancient Greece. Several people managed to escape from an orgy and claimed to remember smelling nectarine and seeing a white mist in the room. The comments were dismissed because orgies often involved wine, fruit, and the burning of incense.

The last incident to date was in the early 1950's in Chicago. The same elements were reported by the people who had managed to escape, but this time they were taken seriously. The Center had managed to cover it up because everyone was in a sexual frenzy after the war ended. The only problem is that none of the couples were restored to normal because no cure has been found. The only linked cause is a high amount of sexual activity for prolonged periods of time."

"OK, now is there anything useful in the entry?"

"I'm looking, I'm looking.". Martin leaned in towards the Legendex and skimmed the rest of the entry for any useful information on how to deal with the Spirit of Lust, unaware of Diana was doing the same right across from him. They both reached out their right finger at the same time to scroll down the entry, then continued reading the entry in concentration. The moment Diana finished, the Legendex shut itself down, startling Martin who had yet to finish reading the entry.

The moment Martin moved, they both became aware of their position. Their left hands were entwined, their faces were inches away from each other's, and their right index fingers were hovering just next to the slope of each other's left cheekbone.

Just then, a strand of Martin's hair flopped into his eye, and Diana tucked it behind his ear. They froze in that position, eyes locked on each other. The tableau was interrupted by a yawn issuing from Diana's lips. As she brought her hand back to cover her mouth, Martin remembered himself and pulled his own hand back.

"What, one nap wasn't enough for you?"

"As if it were enough for you?"

"Of course it was. After all, I have much more stamina than you."

At that, Diana uttered a brief derisive laugh. "You wish!".

"It's true. I'm stronger, more graceful, just plain-out more athletic than you."

Diana _was_ tired and couldn't articulate a good come-back, so she opted to growl and tackle him.

Martin, who was equally exhausted but unwilling to admit it, didn't see the attack coming and found himself on the floor with Diana straddling him and pinning his wrists to keep him in place.

"Too bad your sixth sense stinks."

"Oh really?". With a grin, Martin lifted his legs up and used his lower body strength to replant his feet on the ground while flipping them over and used his own body to pin hers down. Nose to nose, he smirked at her and whispered, "Guess you're no match for me.". His smirk developed into a full-blown grin as he commenced to tickle her mercilessly.

Diana burst into laughter and tried to shove Martin off, but to no avail. The tickle attack went on for what seemed to be forever, until Diana finally managed to grab Martin's hands. Diana had flailed her legs and they were now spread out with Martin's legs resting between them. The hand that Diana had managed to grab and hold on to was stretched high above her head. Martin's free hand had still been searching for ticklish spots and was hovering at her hip. Diana had been attempting to grab that hand as well and ended up accidentally pressing it to herself.

Their laughter died down nearly immediately when they realized the implications of their position. Normally, it wouldn't have worried them, but there had been plenty of awkward moments between the two ever since they began this mission, and there was no need to make things weirder if it could be helped. Martin rolled off Diana, and they lay side by side while struggling to catch their breath.

"We really should catch a nap."

"What about getting our stories straight?"

"I think we'll be able to manage that better once we're fully rested. I doubt that even you could come up with something very good if you're tired.". Before Diana could protest, he continued on. "It wasn't an insult. No one's mind functions at one's best when one is tired. That, and we tend to argue a lot when we're both cranky, which we will be if we don't get some sleep soon.".

Diana sighed. Martin was right and if she attempted to argue that point she would only prove it so. They finally stood up. Diana headed towards the closet, and slid the door open, unaware of Martin following right behind her. She pulled her sweater off, folded it neatly, then placed it on one of the shelves. Another sweater was thrown haphazardly onto the shelf above. Diana gasped and turned around to face Martin.

"You always complain about me throwing my clothes all over the room. Might as well put it away in its proper place.". Diana glanced at the shelves, then turned her eyes back to Martin with an eyebrow raised.

"It's a start. At least I didn't throw it on the bed or floor. Besides, you of all people should know that I can't fold clothes."

"I think you can fold clothes if you tried. You just haven't done it in a long time.". Martin was about to complain, but Diana smiled at him, taking the sting from her words. She then turned around, pulled his sweater from the shelf, and turned back to him with the sweater in her hands. "Now watch carefully.".

She held the shoulders of the sweater in each hand, then folded the sweater in half along an invisible line down the middle of the sweater. She then smoothed out the arms so that they lay over each other perfectly. She folded the arms over the torso of the sweater, then folded it down hiding the sleeves from sight, and repeated that step to form a small, bulky rectangle.

"It's not the neatest way to fold a sweater, but it's one of the simpler ways, and it gets the job done. Now you try it."

Martin reached for his sweater again. "Don't.". Martin pulled his arm back down and looked at Diana with his brows knitted together. "I folded the sweater for you. It was the least I could do.".

"Thanks. Pants are different. What about pants?"

"Pants," Diana took off her pants and held them up in front of him, "are easier.".

"Martin raised an eyebrow and took off his own pants. Now both of them had their pants held in front of them, ready for the next lesson.

"Hold your pants at the corners of the waistband by the fingers and fold them in half. Now hold the waistband in one hand and raise the pants up while running the grip of your hand down the side of the leg. This should automatically line up both legs evenly. Once you reach the knee, hold it there tightly, bring it up, and bring the waistband down at the same time so it lines up with the cuff. Now let go of the waistband and bring your hand to the new center. Fold it in half again. That's the most common way to fold pants."

Diana turned around and they both put away their pants. Diana then turned around to face Martin again. "Now for the final lesson.". Diana pulled off her tank top, revealing a white cotton bra underneath. "Sleeveless tops and short-sleeved shirts are folded the same way, but differently from long-sleeved tops.".

Martin stared at Diana. _Does she realize that she's in her underwear? Not that it's an unpleasant sight - Bad Martin! She's your stepsister and this is a folding lesson. Concentrate!_

"OK, now first... Martin?". Martin appeared to be staring off into space in her direction. Diana waved her hand in front of Martin's face. "Martin?". No reaction. She finally zoomed in on Martin's face and yelled, "Martin!".

He had finally snapped out of it and breathed, "Huh?".

Diana pulled away. "It's time for the final lesson. What's up with you?".

_You do not want to know._ "Do you realize you're in your underwear?".

Diana looked down at herself then back up at Martin. _Is he blushing?_ "I'm aware of that. How is this different from my bikini?".

Martin mentally slapped himself. _How **is** this different from a bikini?_ "It's not.". His voice cracked on the first syllable. He cleared his throat. "It's just that this is the first time I've seen you in your underwear, that's all. It just caught me by surprise. _It's the first time I've seen any attractive woman close to my age in her underwear._

"I see. Well, would you mind taking off your t-shirt so we can move on to the last lesson?"

Martin took a deep breath and lifted his shirt over his head, then waited for Diana's next instructions. His stepsister had been staring at his rippling muscles while he was taking off his shirt and was now trying to remind herself that this was no different than his beach attire.

"Should I turn it out or is it OK to put it away while it's still inside-out?"

"Hm? Oh, turn it out. I've already turned out my tank-top."

Martin managed to do this much himself. "OK, now what?".

"Hold it by the shoulders or the top of the straps and fold it in half. Now hold it at the top with one hand and bring the other down to rest it in the middle of the shirt and let go of the top. Make sure the top lines up with the hem perfectly so nothing sticks down below it. Now fold it in half again and put it away.

Martin folded his t-shirt with meticulous attention then put it away very carefully, taking extra care not to brush against Diana in any way.

Once they were done, Martin took a tiny step away from Diana as she turned around to face him again.

"I guess that concludes our lesson. Don't ask me about folding underwear. I wouldn't know about yours and I don't fold my own. I've never been bothered to because it's not like anyone ever goes through there.". She yawned, stretched her arms above her head, and brought them down to stretch them in front of her and crack her knuckles.

Martin looked away for his own sake. He was still trying to control himself and the fact that Diana's cleavage appeared to be deeper when she held her arms together in front of her didn't help his situation.

Diana finally brought her arms back down to her sides and walked towards the bed, quickly brushing her hand across Martin's shoulder to catch his attention. Not that she needed to. She wasn't quite aware of how attentive he was of her at the moment.

"Let's take that nap now. We can concoct a tale after we wake up. Unless you want to have lunch. It's already noon."

"Erm, aren't you going to put on a nightgown?"

"This would actually be more comfortable for me. I'm used to sleeping in cotton. The satin doesn't really breathe and heats up too easily. You don't mind, do you?"

"Mind? I guess not. If it makes you more comfortable, then I suppose it's OK.". _Oh shit. It's not like the satin is going to alleviate the situation as it is. Shit, shit, shit._

"Good. I don't mind if you sleep in your boxers only. I know that you tend to do that. I've woken you up often enough to know that you sleep shirtless when it's hot, and I've seen you wearing shorts or boxers under your robe in the mornings during summer."

"Really? If you really don't mind. 'Cause it's OK if you do have a problem with that."

"Martin, I want you to be comfortable when going to bed. It's pointless otherwise."

He wouldn't let the innocuous wordplay get to him this time. Diana had been treating this as a domestic situation the whole time, because that's all she saw this as. Which made perfect sense. And if she could do it, he could do it. Just a little further down and everything would truly be back to normal. His willpower would have to hold out just a little longer. And so would the memory of his parents down the hall, reminding him just how dire this mission was.


End file.
